Today's title is courtesy of my friend Dave, aka DJ Beet Buffet.
Ok so we took all our fellowship camping this weekend and it was sooooo
much fun! I love these students! And I learned some fun
games that they played when they were little about rabbits and trees...
it's like a mix between London bridges falling down and elbow tag...
good times... and we roasted marshmallows and tried to make jiffy pop
... but the jiffy pop didn't work that well... and by not that well I
mean not at all... oh well trying was fun enough and I like
marshmallows better anyway  Marshmallows are my favorite food group (yes they're in a group all by themselves, they're that good)
Ok so during the trip I got to give a talk about relationships, not
dating relationships, just relationships in general... I volunteered
for the job because I've been relearning a lot of things about community
lately... mostly that I like it... and so does God.
You see... it's all about being naked... but I prefer to hide.
It's easier. My life has felt really temporary since coming to
East Asia... teams and friends and relationships come and go.. and when
my completely new team came this fall I think I felt like they were
just going to leave again (or more accurately I was planning to be the
one leaving at that time) and I didn't really care to invest in
relationships with any of them. So all fall semester I wasn't
really close to anyone (except Amelia who was my only left over friend
from last year). But then Thailand came and I got to know some
people in the Zone better and other people around the country and I
made like 80 best friends. I love best friends. And I
remembered how much I love people. I mean I really just love
people. And I really missed community and my relationship with
Dad was suffering because I didn't have the community he desires us to
have. I wasn't letting people into my life.
So since coming back I have happily been getting to know people better, in and outside of the zone.
But after giving this talk this weekend I think I still have a long way
to go in learning how to not hide who I am and what I'm feeling.
I don't like talking about my feelings that much, I'm not that good at
it... but it's coming along... so let me start here... I'm really happy
lately, I like what I do and I'm excited about next fall and the job
change. I miss my family and when my brothers start to have kids
one day I don't want to be that aunt that lives in East Asia... but I
also love being here and lately have a hard time imagining what it
would be like moving back to America permanently, ... I kinda want to
stay here... which is making me second guess grad school... but that
decision doesn't have to be made yet. Some days my heart hurts a
great deal for friends that I can't help. And some days I agonize
over where my own heart is in regards to someone and I try to convince
myself that I have no expectations because I'm afraid of being
disappointed and hurt. But on the whole... despite the
uncertainty and turmoil in my heart I feel at peace... which doesn't
seem to make a lot of sense... but His peace passes understanding...
and maybe this is what He means...
Oh and I'm pasting my talk after this... making this even longer...
it's a conglomeration of things I've learned over the years... I can't
claim any sort of originality with it except putting the different
lessons I've learned into one... it's simple because it was for younger
Brothers and Sisters... so you may find it unimpressive (and if that's
the case you can just keep it to yourself)... Also, it's oratory... so
it's not a great piece of writing really (not that any of my writing is
great, I think I peeked in high school with the writing... sad)...
maybe you should read it out loud imitating me in a teachery type
tone... it'll sound best that way... or something...
Redeeming
Relationships
Tonight we ’re going to talk about redeeming relationships
and community.
I’ll explain what I mean by redemption briefly.
When God originally created the world it was perfect. But then Adam and Eve ate the fruit, they
sinned. We call this the fall. And now we say we live in a fallen
world. But we know one day Christ will
come again and the world will once again be perfect. It will become what it was created to be. This is redemption: something becoming what it was originally created
to be.
So what does this have to do with relationships and
community?
Let’s start with Genesis 1:26-31
People are made in God’s image, they are the pinnacle, the
climax of creation. People are
beautiful. Everything else was good;
people were very good.
Now read Gen 2:15-22
This isn't just about how men and women compliment each
other.
The Lord said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone!!! In the
Garden Adam had a perfect relationship with God and it still wasn't good for
him to be alone. We were created for relationship and community!
We see the same thing at the end of the Bible.
Let’s look at Revelation 21:1-4
What John saw was a Holy City,
and New Jerusalem. Heaven isn't just
floating around in the clouds. It’s not
just us and God. There will be a Holy
city. We will be surrounded by
people. When the world is once again
perfect we will be living in community with God’s most beautiful creation, each
other.
Ok so we were created for relationship and community but
what does a redeemed perfect relationship look like?
For this we'll go back to the Garden.
Gen 2:25
They were naked and
unashamed
And after they ate the fruit Gen 3:7 they realized they were
naked and when they heard God in the Garden they hid. When God calls to Adam he answers (v. 10) – I
was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.
And later the Lord makes clothes for them.
So before the fall they were naked and unashamed and after
the fall they were ashamed, they hid, and they needed clothes.
What does this mean for us?
To be naked in front of someone else is to vulnerable, to be
known. There is nothing to hide our
faults behind.
To be unashamed is to be secure, not only in yourself, but
secure in how the other person perceives you.
So our goal in relationships should be to be naked and
unashamed.
And I think in our heart of hearts we will all admit that we
want to be intimately known and infinitely loved.
Now because we live in a fallen world the only one who can
perfectly know and love us like that it God.
This is important to acknowledge.
But we still want to pursue this kind of relationship with
each other. Which can be frightening and
like Adam and Eve we may choose to hide.
But we cannot hide and live a life pleasing to God because we have been
created for relationship and community.
So how can we do this?
Fist let’s say that we will never be able to do it outside
of walking closely with God and relying on the Holy Spirit.
OK. Now we ’re going
to change vocabulary. We were talking
about being naked and unashamed and now we ’re going to talk about Truth and
Grace. Naked = Truth … Unashamed = Grace
That is what we said earlier about being naked is be vulnerable and know
is the same of truth, it's being open, honest, vulnerable it’s allowing yourself
to be know. And what we said about being
unashamed is being secure can only happen in this fallen world through grace,
through unconditional forgiveness and acceptance.
Now in our ideal relationship we will both extend and
receive both Grace and Truth. But
because we live in a fallen world we won't always accomplish this. We may have one of 4 things happen: No
Grace and No Truth, All Grace and No Truth, No Grace and All Truth, Both Grace
and Truth
We won't talk about the first one much. It happens, but if it does you're not really
friends. OK moving on.
All Grace and No
Truth
What happens here is too much tolerance. Depending what side of the relationship you're
on, you may find yourself being used, or using someone else who is too
accepting and never objects, everything is always ok (even if that’s not
true). This is a shallow, superficial
relationship because there is a lack of communication. At some point this relationship will probably
stagnate because it will never grow deeper.
All Truth and No
Grace
This relationship is based on performance. You'll feel a lot of pressure in this
relationship because there is no room for failure. This relationship will probably end because
the standard cannot be met. You will
either be disappointed that the other person failed you or if you are the one
trying to live up to the impossible standard you will probably give up.
Both Grace and Truth
Only here where there is open and honest communication and
unconditional forgiveness and acceptance can we experience each other as God
meant us to.
Here we need to allow ourselves to be known, we need to be
honest and vulnerable. We also need to
pursue knowing and understanding the other person.
We need to accept Grace when it’s offered and we need to
extend Grace to others.
This relationship will grow deeper because it’s a safe environment.
So to sum up: God
made people and they're beautiful, they're the pinnacle of creation. God made us to need each other. When we live out our relationships as He
intended we are able to be naked and unashamed, we experience Grace and Truth.
As we live out these relationships of Grace and Truth we
play a part in God’s great story of redeeming the world. We will know Christ better and we will be
showing Christ to the world. By living
in relationships based on Grace and Truth we give the world a glimpse of what
the world should be and one day will be like.
Questions to think
about:
In your relationships do you give grace or truth more
easily?
Do you receive grace or truth more easily?
What changes do you need to make in your relationships?
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